A Synopsis of a Breakdown...

    I recently stated that "I am alone in this massive wicked world. In this he finds comfort in a constant. In this constant he has sorrow for finding such comfort in such a miserable place in his mind. For in this darkness there is a glint of light, and yet the darkness is all consuming. Does not abate, does not abdicate, does not cease. And within this hollow place there is no hope." What do I mean by this? I have hit a point where I am on the verge of quitting. This is reminiscent of a time when I sedated myself just so I could get through the days. Of being alone and being forever apathetic to the cares and concerns of others. Those days are upon me once again. The ways in which I dealt with them are changing. Now, more than ever, I feel the urge to run. To find sanctity and solitude by wandering and never knowing a 'home'. In truth I need no material nor monetary possessions. At the core of my being suffering is what makes me strive. Happiness is simply another commodity accrued by those who take comfort in surrounding themselves by that which does not make them a person. Here I sit questioning what I am doing, how I am living, why I am living. I have tried and yet death denies me. So what more is there for me here? Why continue a fraudulent existence?