(untitled) - a cigarette burn

hello fair reader,
i find myself updating today -
somehwer eon the cusp of a new month -
and that puts me at nearly an update
a month (in recent times).
the last one was digressive and
i do believe
that this one shall be introspective.
but woe is me,
oh fair reader,
for digression is a plague upon
my mind.

nov26
9.02
post
meridiem

i find myself - my thoughts - flowing towards a more nomadic form of lifestyle. not in the sense of a vagrant bum hippie, but more in the sense as a spiritual wanderer. i hope to achieve this through my means and have the cash to gear and go.
this shall not be an into the wild situation for i am not headed anywhere -
the universe shall guide me as i am meant to flow.
hiking, with a light-weight pack, out into the middle of no where and camping. spending the days in the center of where man originated. privation of self can no longer be a means of necessitation, for out there amongst the universe there is no self and our existence is - in essence - meaningless.
this is not a reason for angst or depression at the thought of a meaningless existence. for clarification, the physical existence is purposeless but true existence is consciousness.
a quest to commune with the primal energies of existence. away from society and what they call humanity.
what is humanity?
ourselves, - the collective - is that what humanity is?
to me it reads as if the word humanity is just a kinder way to say socialism. for humanity in definition is the collective; homo sapiens as a whole.
digression
i will admit in this post,
i consume hallucinogenic substances and see no reason why my guided, moderated, and psychically capable mind cannot judge for itself what is good and what is bad for myself.
self-governance.

i end here,
ive run aground.